Helping with Math Homework

 Parents generally don’t want to be teachers and most don’t want to be math teachers. Partly, this comes from many people having problems with math education when they were young; other times it comes from the changes to math education in the last ten years. I wasn’t thrilled initially to have to relearn basic math. After doing it my mind changed. 

That said, you can still help your child with their math without becoming their math teacher or relearning basic math. Keep in mind that most schools have turned your child into a passive math learner. We teach children to sit quietly and wait for someone to tell them what they should know and then we test them on getting the right answer (not on how they think things through or knowing when to use different skills). When you start working with these steps, some children will resist and shut down. But, gently leading them through the process of talking (not the process of math) will enable them to regain control of their learning.

First, always have your child explain what they do understand. A common reply (especially at the start) remains. I don’t understand any of it. This is frustration speaking because we taught them to focus too much on the end answer. To overcome this, I have them select a problem and rewrite it on a blank piece of paper. Then ask questions such as: what kind of numbers are these? what are doing with them (adding, grouping, multiply, etc.)? and can you draw them in a picture or on a number bar? Focus on what they know first to help them find the steps. 

Next, ask them to look at the example from class and see which steps they can do. If they find a step they struggle with, you can skip it and see if they can explain to you any of the later steps. Again, you aren’t trying to teach them the steps, you need them to identify where they are confused or making a mistake. Don’t focus on correcting them, it is fine to let them make mistakes and get steps wrong when they are explaining it to you.

At this point, you have two options. You can intervene and try to teach them the skill, but be sure to use the example to have them work the problem the way they will be expected to in class; or you can have them articulate 2-3 questions to take to their teacher, tutor, or sibling.  As long as they show that they attempted each problem and have written as much as they can, it still counts as doing their homework. Homework is meant to be the practice of a skill, not demonstrating perfection. If you help them learn to craft specific questions to take back, where they can show what they know and where they get lost, it is more likely a teacher can help them quickly recover. They also learn the valuable skill of learning how to ask for specific help, which I see even adults struggle with sometimes. I usually recommend parents start with this approach, because it enables the child to gain more than math skills and it helps the teacher understand what challenges your shield might specifically be having. It leads to an overall better school experience.  

Unfortunately, children sometimes end up with a teacher not suited to their personality and learning style. Sometimes teachers just don’t have the experience or training to adapt to working with children who don’t learn from their preferred teaching methods. If you want (or need) to try to teach them the skill, I encourage using the drawing to demonstrate the idea before trying the computation. You can also provide manipulatives, so they can see how a wrong step doesn’t get them where they want to go. Point out where they got the steps correct and them where they missed a step or did them in the wrong order. Have them practice one with guidance. Then have them complete one while explaining to you what they are doing. Follow the process of having them articulate the math process to you until they get it right (or finish their homework). Then let them complete the rest on their own. 

Helping with math homework doesn’t need to turn households into battle zones. By focusing on teaching your child to take control of their learning instead of just trying to teach them the math skill immediately in front of them, you commit to making math easier for them in the long run.